Report card time is coming up, so we’re all gearing ourselves up to put on a good show for our kids, telling them how proud we are of them. A 92 in social studies? Yes, very nice. A 95 in language? Bravo, huzzah! The “chef of the future” award in home economics? My son/daughter, the genius!
But what’s this? A 99 in – ALGEBRA!? Finally, a real academic achievement! Now the celebration can really begin! Not to take anything away from the other no-doubt essential subjects our children will undoubtedly draw …

If there’s one thing humanity should have learned by now, it’s the importance of communication – of figuring out ways to make sure people understand each other. How many wars could be prevented if people in competing cultures would be able to speak each other’s language, to explain to each other their concerns and common interests? Nations, tribes, individuals, even computers – can’t we all just get along? Apparently not. War may be bad for computers and other living things, but the “authorities” have done little to prevent war …

“Monetization” is big these days. The idea of taking your spare whatever – empty web page spaces, e-mail backgrounds, Facebook profiles – and turning them into cash, is irresistible during these turbulent times. Personally, I think we should demand to be paid when we wear a “brand name” T-shirt, jacket, or other item of clothing that sports a corporate logo. Why are we giving these fat cats free advertising, anyway? But let’s leave that aside, for now. I’ve discovered a great way for you to monetize another “dead space,” …

Regardless of what your mother said, we all believe we have to be doing a thing everybody else is doing. Moms don’t really get peer pressure; when she calls you out on something and you tell her that “everybody’s” doing it, she, of course, throws this snappy comeback at you: “And if everybody jumps off the top of building, should you do that too?” Gotcha!
Regardless, though, “everybody’s doing it” is hard for many of us to argue with. If everybody’s involved in something, there must be something to it! Of …

A sideways glance. A stifled cough. A “harrumph.” On their own, they mean nothing. But when they come from your in-laws – while they’re eating the food you’ve slaved for days to prepare – well, that’s something else altogether. Not that they would ever actually say anything – but we know what they mean! This time, there’s no way out. The creative ideas you’ve come up with in the past – a picnic, fancy restaurants, a barbecue, – won’t work this time. It’s the seder, and these people are …