Your Brand New Archaeological Gem

 

By David Shamah, The Jerusalem Post, March 25, 2004

 

Today we see just the ruins, but once upon a time, it was beautiful – a veritable wonder of the world. Try and picture the way it looked for a moment, in all its ancient glory. Shiny and bright it was, with striking color and shining brilliance. Yes, once people just like us romped there, and if you listen carefully, you can still hear the sounds of the children as they joyously play their children’s games in the warm, protective glow. It was truly a glorious edifice, once, constructed by old world craftsmen who built things to last.

 

Of course, there is no accounting for the taste of whoever put this thing together, and when you stand back and take it all in, you realize – that kitchen has got to go! I mean, look at those colors! What were they thinking? I’m all for preserving archaeological treasures, but that’s what we have museums for. I realize that the ’56 Sears L-shaped is a “classic kitchen”, but I was never a classy kind of guy; it’s time to do a little redecorating.

 

I was never any good at sawing and hammering, so I probably would want to have a professional carpenter do it myself. But if I were to take up carpentry, even on an amateur basis, I could probably save myself a ton of money on the project. And thanks to the Internet, an amateur can do a minor – or even major – home improvement job far more easily than ever before! There are all sorts of downloadable and online tools to help plan, measure, develop and build anything from a table to a whole house, along with all the detailed instructions you need to put the thing together. Many of these tools were developed by the world’s great do-it-yourself retailers to customers figure out what they need to buy to get the project done. Not all these retailers have local outlets, but the tools will be useful to anybody doing remodeling – a meter is still a meter, unless, of course, it’s 3.281 feet (note that some of these sites will list measurements in feet and inches; use http://www.sciencemadesimple.com/conversions.html for metric conversions) .

 

Mention “do-it-yourself furniture” to someone almost anywhere in the civilized world and they’re likely to retort “Ikea,” the retail king of prefab furniture. Ikea was originally a Swedish company, but now it is a worldwide empire of its own, and the company’s Web site has a couple of great tools you can download to help you visualize how a room might look after remodeling. Ikea’s tools, the Kitchen Planner and the Office Planner, let you drag and drop cabinets, desks, walls and furniture onto a room (pick a size), and rearrange them to your heart’s content. If you’re planning or building a new house, you can change the contours of the room or the location of the walls, etc. – and if you’re just looking to replace a few cabinets, lay out your kitchen the way it is now and replace the parts you don’t like.

 

The cabinet sizes and colors are all listed by their Ikea store label, so you can thumb through your catalog and pick the pieces and sizes you like. The program lets you put it all together on the screen – and when you’re done, press the 3D button to see it come to life, with the colors and styles you’ve selected! A good piece of marketing but a great piece of software, you can download the Kitchen Planner from http://www.ikea.co.uk/ms/en_GB/rooms_ideas/kitchen/download.html (in metric measurements) and the Office Planner from http://www.ikea-usa.com/ms/en_US/rooms_ideas/office/download1.html (U.S. measurements). For Windows 95 and better, requires DirectX.

 

The Ikea downloads are great, but since they’re from Ikea, you’re limited to the selection provided by the store (not that it’s such a limited selection). But if you really want to let your imagination fly, you should give the Ladies Home Journal magazine Arrange-A-Room tool a try (find it on http://www.lhj.com, and click on the Arrange-A-Room link on the left). This on-line tool works on the same drag and drop principle (for all systems; requires Shockwave) as the Ikea planners, but it’s got layout grids for every room in the house, including bathrooms, dens and bedrooms. You can set the size of the room and set up windows and doors to their sizes and locations, and even place electrical and phone outlets on the wall! After you set up the layout, you add the furniture or furnishings for the specific room from the very extensive list provided. Once you’re done, you can save the room or print it out to take when you go shopping. This way, you don’t have to go into contortions and sign language to explain to the guy in the store exactly what you’re looking for; just show him the room printout and you’re all set!

 

Better Homes and Gardens, another decorating magazine, has an on-line tool called Color-a-Room, which will help you figure out patterns and colors, along with design (find it at http://www.bhg.com, Color-A-Room link on the left side; for all Windows systems, requires ViewPoint Media Player which is automatically installed). You pick a  canned bedroom or living room that more or less fits your room setup. Then, you can choose different color combinations for fabrics, walls, tiles, upholstery, and carpeting. This is the kind of thing you used to have to spend a week on at the store, mixing and matching colors and styles! If you’re into this kind of thing or are really interested in doing some redecorating, you’re going to have hours of fun at this site! (Both lhj.com and bhg.com require free membership and cookies, and both have a preponderance of annoying popups, but the services are free and very cool).

 

Lowe’s, the large American do-it-yourself chain, sponsors a great Web site (http://www.lowes.com, click on Design Tools link at top of page) loaded with tools that can practically build a project by itself! The Project Calculator tool will tell you exactly how much of an item you need to buy for a project based on area or size. Use this calculator when you’re painting a room, for example; it takes into account walls, floors, and second coats in its calculations. If you register with the site, you can also use the Lowe’s Interactive Workshop, which supplies nice video how-to presentations on all sorts of projects, an a virtual paint tool which let’s you mix and match almost any color in existence. And the Build It Virtually tool will show you tools and specific steps to build small projects, like benches and backyard swings. If you’re specifically interested in kitchens and bathrooms, you’ll find a similar set of tools at the Home Depot Design Center site, http://www.homedepot.com/designcenter.

 

All this decorating talk is nice, but who can afford it in this day and age? I’m with you, friend. You want a nice living space, but you want to spend as little as possible. And home improvement, besides being a drain on your bank account, is like a drug – once you start, you’re hooked! But you don’t have to spend a lot of money to spruce up your home; there are plenty of on-line resources that can point you to cheap or even free ideas for redecorating. http://www.thebudgetdecorator.com is exactly what the site name advertises, and it’s got easy to follow instructions and photos for a number of very low cost decorating projects. http://doityourself.com/ has excellent, detailed instructions for home projects both large and small, from properly changing a shower head to building your own deck or garage. At http://www.decoratorsecrets.com/, you can learn how to decorate like a pro and save lots of money. This site, at http://www.decoratorsecrets.com/bestofweb/default.asp, also has links to many manufacturer sites that have additional ideas and tips. And if you need real cheap detailed building plans, someone at the Colorado State University Cooperative Extension has already gone through the trouble of putting them together for you at http://www.cerc.colostate.edu/Blueprints/Housing.htm. You can find plans for anything from a doghouse to a 5-room log cabin, in PDF form, and the plans are only $5 apiece! So if you’re feeling frustrated with Pesach cleaning, feel free to smash and trash all you want; now you have all the info you need to rebuild easily and inexpensively! You can be sure that years from now, your descendants will still be oohing and ahing over the great archaeological gem you have bequeathed them.

 

Send e-mail to ds@newzgeek.com or check out http://www.newzgeek.com.