Down and Out on Tin Pan Alley

I have had it up to here (my hand is below my chin) with those Hollywood phonies. I, who have more directing talent in my little finger than they have in their entire Academy (I got my Oscar in a pawn shop, that's how valuable they really are!) am shunned, while the real hacks like Spielberg keep racking up honors.

It's just jealousy. They know they can never even come close to my work. That's why they trash everything I've ever done. "Frankenstein's Mother-in-Law" is a classic, I tell you, and I don't know what that fellow from Variety had in mind when he called it "a hack job by a hack director. Worthy of an Alan Smithee appellation." What kind of crack was that supposed to be? I happen to know that Alan felt honored by that comment. Or so he told me.

So, goodbye, Left Coast. It's time to take wing and return to my true love – the legitimate theater. Luckily for me, the studio released the copyright on my show. That's fine with me. I'm off to Tin Pan Alley to develop "Mother in Law" into a musical. If Broadway could work for a show about a plant that eats people, "Mother in Law" – a story with so much relevance and meaning that it just oozes empathy – should be perfect!

But alas, those Hollywood gossip rags are all read in New York, as well. I was going to have to come up with a way to wow the important people – the investors, of course, but also the top-flight actors and theater owners. My first meeting on the subject did not go well, I am afraid; the potential investor was not impressed. "I think your show will have to run off-Broadway – way, way off, like Poughkeepsie!" Ooh, when this thing opens I am going to make these people eat their words!

Yes, revenge would be most sweet. "Mother" must succeed, if only to put all these naysayers in their places. Showing up these tasteless jerks has become as much as a motivation as producing a hit! I must say, though, that I was quite discouraged – perhaps humanity was not ready for my special brand of presentation. I was about to give up – revenge would have to wait for "the next time around."

But then I discovered a program that would satisfy both my needs – that for a fantastic presentation, and that for getting back at the little people. It's all in one neat, little package called Powerbullet Presenter.

There are lots of ways to present information on the Web, or in a standalone presentation, for that matter. Basic HTML is more or less static, but if you want glitter and gloss, you want to go with a Flash presentation. Most of those fancy pop-ups with animation, images jumping around the screen, and user interactivity – a key feature – are all made with Flash software. Your Web browser has a built in Flash player to display these things, but making them requires expensive software and years of training – or so you would think!

But wrong you would be, so wrong. Powerbullet Presenter has all the tools even a beginner needs to put together a top flight Flash presentation - with absolutely no experience needed. Powerbullet gives you text and drawing tools, making its interface similar to the standard layout programs or word processors you already know so well. You can also, of course, import text or graphics; Powerbullet supports drag and drop of elements outside the program, so all you have to do is shlep a jpeg file, for example, onto the program screen and it automatically becomes part of the presentation. You can add an MP3 file (one per page – you can have multiple pages that are viewed sequentially and automatically when playing the Flash show). You can even add a link to an existing Web page, on your computer or on the Net. Powerbullet automatically creates a folder in your registered My Documents folder with all the content you create or add – there's no opening import dialog boxes or "save as" action necessary. Once you assemble your presentation elements, it’s time to apply the magic of Flash and turn it into a show. The program comes with all sorts of tweaking tools, lines, borders, fades, text formatting tools and background boxes.

Then you come to the heart of the Flash matter – applying the Flash effects and transitions. There are dozens of them, including fades, twists, bumps, jumps, spins, crawls – just don't eat lunch before using these functions because it's like being on a roller coaster ride! You can apply these effects to any element on the page. And to top it off, you can record directly form your own computer, or add sound, like your own voice, from a microphone. Powerbullet is quite at home with HTML elements and lets you add elements like tables, since the fate of many Flash presentations is to be incorporated into a Web page. In the same vein, you can also make the presentation a pop-up on a Web page.

Once you've done your assembling, formatting and tweaking, you can save the file and watch a preview, or export it to Flash (swf) or HTML format. All the elements you added show up quickly and cleanly, regardless of how fancy the show is. For this is Flash's secret; it loads its animated images far more quickly than GIF animation does, and it's interactive, as well – allowing users to start, stop, rewind and loop the presentation at their will (Powerbullet also lets you run the presentation as a nonstop loop, without any interaction, and set a delay, like in a slide show). There are help screens and forums galore, and the program's users have contributed ideas and presentations for others to learn from. It's as complete and easy a Web authoring experience as you could possibly hope for.

Wow! Flash technology is hot – it has become the preferred method for developing Web presentations. And freeware Powerbullet has lots of features – maybe not as many as Macromedia's Flash authoring tool, but more than some of the numerous other shareware and commercial authoring products. Why isn't the author of the program charging money for this thing? It doesn't even require that you look at sponsor ads?!

Ah, that's where the revenge part comes in – part of my inspiration for using the program. It seems that the author, a fellow from Australia, had some sort of business deal on bringing this program to market with a partner who apparently tried to cheat him. In the deal, Powerbullet was to be repackaged under another name, Flashpoint, that the author's rogue partner was charging money for. "Despite not being paid for sales, I continued to provide free support to Flashpoint buyers (without letting on about the swindle as they had bought the product in good faith) until my access was cut," he writes, and when it was, he began giving Flashpoint - now Powerbullet - away.

That's the kind of thing I was looking for. Features and ease of use I could get elsewhere – but this kind of moxie is an inspiration to people like me who have been ripped off by society. Bully for him, I say! The Powerbullet story inspired me to come up with a fantastic, sweep-them-off-their-feet Flash presentation that wowed everyone who saw it.!

And it worked! Now I've got my investors lined up, and I'm working on assembling a cast. Word has gotten out on my project, and "Mother" is already booked for previews at a big deal Times Square theater! And then comes money, success, and the big awards show. Forget Oscar; in a few months I'll introduce you to my new best friend – Tony!

David Shamah

Link this!

the Newzgeek files