Why Nobody Likes Grapefruits

By David Shamah The Jerusalem Post, Friday, July 22, 2005

Man (and Woman; they’re just as responsible, if you ask me) is never satisfied with things as they are. He must always try and “improve” on the world, in an attempt to leave it “better” than when he found it.

Once there were oranges, and that was fine. Then there were lemons, and they were OK too. So what happened? Some genius got the idea to crossbreed the two – and cam up with what has to be the fruit most feared by young and old alike – the grapefruit! Not how the most popular part of the grapefruit is its juice, which, though it comes from the hybrid, could just as easily be concocted in a non-alcoholic cocktail shaker. So we purists have no problem with grapefruit juice.

Ah, but the fruit itself! It takes a special breed to polish off a grapefruit without “help,” as in piling on the sugar to cut the sour edge. In fact, the only place you can eat it is at a table, with a fork and knife. Does that sound like what a “real” fruit should be? You’re supposed to be able to pick a fruit off a tree, peel it on the spot, and relish the natural sweetness of the produce of a tree.

Let’s face it – a grapefruit is no fruit for fruit lovers (as opposed to juice lovers). Lemons have an honorable place in cuisines throughout the world, and who doesn’t love a nice, juicy orange? But grapefruits are a no go for most people. And they just go to prove my point; when mankind interferes with the natural order of things, watch out!

And I fear that Man is at it again, tampering with the order of things; and this time, the results may be far more serious than the development of some sour fruit.

There are basically two principle ways one can waste time in the modern era; Watching TV or surfing the Internet. Both these methods have for years encouraged viewers and surfers to engage in mind-contracting, torpor-inducing behaviors that encourage junk food eating and a lack of exercise (unless your idea of ‘exercise’ is pressing buttons on a keyboard or remote control). Both sorts of time wasting have lived in peace side by side for many years, and each provided just the right level of serotonin in the brain to give you that peaceful, easy feeling, secure in the knowledge that, no matter how bad “it” gets, you have once again successfully “chilled out.”

But what if they combined the brain numbing of TV with the brain frying of the Internet? Can you imagine what such a combination would produce? Nowadays, you have to at least move from the sofa to the computer table in order to switch between mediums. And even if the TV and computer are next to each other, you can really only give your attention to one or the other (believe me, I’ve tried to have it both ways). With the Internet and TV two separate entities – the way it’s supposed to be – you can at least avoid turning into a total zombie. But if the two were accessible on the same screen – well, I’d hate to be the father or mother of the kid who figured out that neat trick!

Well, watch out, because your kid – or even you – may fall under the double dumb-inducing sway of TV and Internet combined, thanks to the new program dedicated to giving you a way to have it all, with a great free download, TVexe. With TVexe, you will be able to employ the chilling out power of Web surfing and TV viewing on the same computer screen – the only thing you’ll have to move is your eyes!

That’s right, you heard correctly. TVexe does for television what Winamp and RealAudio did for streaming music and talk radio, integrating actual commercial and Web-dedicated video broadcasts from all over the world into a computer application that lets you get your TV fix on the (very) small screen. Admittedly, the project is in its infancy, but TVExe has enough going for it to keep your brain in suspended animation while you try to concentrate on playing cyber-games, IM-ing, or maybe even trying to do some work!

The pleasures of TVexe come right in the installation process; in fact, the program requires no installation whatsoever! You download the program, unzip and double click on the program’s icon – and you are presented with the screen where it all happens, as well as the channel guide you use to tune in. In fact, the program itself is a miniscule one megabyte download, making the process of getting and running it as painless as possible.

You may have already watched live TV on the Internet; there are a number of media outlets, as well as government and educational institutions that broadcast content over the Internet. TVexe, just like programs like Radio Replay, simply gathers together the TV broadcasts available on various Web sites, so it’s more of a convenience thing than anything. But the trick is to find those broadcasts – and TVexe finds them on obscure sites you would never have thought of in a million years.

The channel guide is set up with program listings classified by country, language and type. Broadcasts are available from all continents and in dozens of languages, including, of course, English. There are general interest, educational, news, and music stations as well. But if you’re looking for reruns of Seinfeld, forget it, at least for the free version and at least in English; the broadcasts that are available are mostly public or government channels in many countries, as well as university affiliated stations with educational broadcasts.

This is especially so in English speaking countries, including the U.S., U.K., Australia and New Zealand; there are no major networks represented in the free version (there is a pay version, which for $25 gives you access to a wide variety of commercial and sports stations, including BBC, CNN, and MTV). But that doesn’t mean you can’t have lots of fun with TVexe. There are several dozen TV stations in the U.S., including big name brands like C-Span and Bloomberg TV (which is, oddly, a premium station on my YES satellite system!). C-Pac, the Canadian version of C-Span, is represented as well. All the UK stations seem to be music and entertainment (including the innovative ClassicTV, which features ‘music videos’ of classical music), WAM (World Art Media Television), which has interesting classic movie clips and uncommon performance pieces, and 3BTV, which “promotes new work by producers, writers, directors, animators, etc.” A unique and often highly entertaining type of TV in the United States is public access channels, and TVexe has a number of those, as well as the excellent CN8, a “real” TV station from Philadelphia with news, sports, cooking programs with big name chefs, and – check it out – the Jackie Mason Show, in which the funny man does his shtick and even takes phone calls!

How many times can you watch reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond? TVexe opens up a new, wide world on what TV can be. There are English language stations in many non-English locales throughout the world, including Germany, Malaysia, South Korea and even China. And if you’re really adventurous, you’ll check out what TV looks like in places like Azerbaijan, Aruba, and Vietnam, among many others. Israel is represented as well, with the Knesset Channel, The Academic Channel of Haifa University, and something called Kabbalah TV. And if all that isn’t enough, you can get access to TVexe’s “inner circle” of programming for a one-time fee of $25. That’s cheaper than any cable or satellite deal around! True, you’ll miss the umpteenth viewing of that “I Love Lucy” episode where Ricky yelled at her, but your weekly Jackie Mason fix will give you plenty of material to ICQ your buddies while you watch and message –at the same time!

Download TVexe from http://www.tvexe.com. For Windows 98 and better. You need and ADSL or cable modem connection to run this.

ds@newzgeek.com